my first significant romantic connection began with a man named Victor. he lived in a luxurious penthouse on 10th street and worked as a television director. Victor was older than me, around thirty, at a time when live television dramas like "Playhouse 90," "Studio One," and "Kraft Theater" were the pinnacle of broadcasting, offering vital platforms for emerging actors and writers.
Victor was not only gifted in his profession but also a well-recognized figure within the television industry.
More importantly, he was a deeply affectionate and supportive partner. Looking back, I recognize the immense good fortune I had in being introduced to the gay community of New York through him.
During that era, the vibrant scenes of Broadway theaters and elegant supper clubs were spaces where both heterosexual and homosexual individuals freely mingled and interacted.
I have a particularly vivid memory of an evening spent at the Byline Room.
The celebrated chanteuse Mabel Mercer was performing, and she was seated between iconic figures like Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner on one side, and the Duke and Duchess of Windsor on the other. Visiting Victor in New York allowed me to shed the constant anxiety of being discovered.
I found a sense of belonging within the artistic community.
One evening, Victor took me to see the musical "The Boy Friend," which featured an unknown English actress named Julie Andrews. After the show, we went backstage to briefly meet her. Victor seemed to have connections everywhere. It was an exhilarating experience for a timid twenty-year-old, unaccustomed to such social circles, navigating the world in civilian clothes!
Upon returning to my military base, the lieutenant overseeing the academic squadron requested my assistance as chief clerk for his office.
In this role, I managed a team of four airmen and handled inquiries and communications for the lieutenant, who was frequently absent. I found myself enjoying the status and influence that this position provided.
I also kept a photograph of Victor, taken during his time as a World War II pilot, discreetly hidden at the bottom of my footlocker in my barracks room.
The thought of an unexpected inspection sends a shiver down my spine even now, considering the potential repercussions. However, the barracks for instructors on the training base operated more like a fraternity house than traditional military quarters.
We were considered an elite group and were largely left to our own devices.
My roommate was an exceptional individual named Stewart McKinney. I had the honor of serving as his best man at his wedding. The name Stewart McKinney might sound familiar, as he later served as a U.S. congressman representing Connecticut until his passing from DS in 1991.
By that time, our paths had diverged, and we were leading very different lives.
Stewart was married with four children, yet he maintained a secret relationship with a male partner in Maine. He contacted me unexpectedly from Washington early in 1991 for a brief visit, traveling under an alias.
He appeared quite frail at the time, and it wasn't until after his death that I understood he had come to bid farewell, though the word was never spoken.
Throughout the two years we shared a room, he never once displayed any overt sexual interest toward me.
Ironically, it was only once, at his bachelor party the night before his wedding, that he confessed his feelings for me. The deep bond we shared during those military years would likely be described as a "bromance" today.
Individuals were forced to suppress their same-sex feelings or, like me, seek an outlet outside the confines of military life.
The local organized crime syndicates paid off the police to ensure our safety and privacy. The necessity of concealing one's true identity for survival left indelible scars of self-loathing, a burden I spent most of my life working to overcome.
Do you recall the play "The Boys in the Band"?
I was undoubtedly one of those characters, but I consider myself fortunate to have lived long enough to experience a more open and accepting era. Peter Jarman is a retired executive from the advertising industry, currently residing contentedly in San Diego. You can reach him at pjarman@san.rr.com.
The days were quiet, with very few people visible on Beomil-ro on both Thursday and Friday.
Discretion appears to be a common trait among gay individuals in South Korea. Exploring gay travel adventures in various destinations, such as Gran Canaria for the Winter Pride Maspalomas festival, offers unique experiences.
Discovering the best cities for solo gay travelers is also a popular pursuit, with destinations like Hong Kong and the sunny shores of Torremolinos attracting attention.
In Andorra, "Entre Nous" stands as the sole gay bar in the village. Pride celebrations in Valladolid, Mexico, and queer encounters across Mexico are also noteworthy.
For those seeking solo road trips in Florida, eye-opening experiences await in Miami and Fort Lauderdale. Even community events like drag queen bingo at Footscray Community Bar in Australia highlight vibrant local scenes.
The question of whether gay men are "failing at being gay" is a complex one, often tied to societal expectations.
The discussion around "Gay Tel Aviv: pinkwashing or genuine?" raises important points about representation. For those considering travel to South Korea, the question "Should you be scared of travelling to South Korea?" is often on people's minds. Reviews of airlines like Qatar Airways, offering economy class on Boeing Dreamliners from Brussels to Doha, and experiences at Hamad International Airport DOH in Doha provide practical travel information.
Upon landing at Incheon, South Korea, retrieving a Wowpass and taking the AREX express train to Seoul Station are common first steps.
Accommodation reviews, such as Fraser Place Namdaemun Seoul near City Hall, offer insights into lodging options. Exploring Seoul's landmarks, including Deoksugung Palace, Gyeongbokgung Palace, the National Folk Museum, and the National Museum of Korea, provides a deep dive into Korean history and culture, with mentions of Admiral Yi Sun-sin and King Sejong the Great appearing multiple times.
The itinerary also includes visits to Bukchon Hanok Village, Insadong Culture Street, Jogyesa Temple, Gwangjang Market, and Cheonggyecheon Stream.
Dongdaemun Design Plaza is another key attraction. Shopping in Seoul is a major draw, with Myeongdong, Lotte Young Plaza, Avenuel, and Lotte Department Store being popular destinations. Namsan Mountain Park and the N Seoul Tower offer panoramic city views.
Travel within South Korea often involves the Korail KTX high-speed train, with routes connecting Seoul to Gyeongju and Busan.
In Gyeongju, historical sites like Daereungwong, Cheonmachong, Cheomseongdae Observatory, Banwolseong Fortress, and Anapji Pond are essential visits. Woljeonggyo Bridge and the Gyeongju National Museum offer further cultural immersion. Hotel Palace in Gyeongju is a reviewed accommodation option.
Bulguksa Temple and Seokguram Grotto are UNESCO World Heritage sites that are highly recommended.
Further exploration in Gyeongju includes the Eupseong Fortress and shopping areas. The journey from Gyeongju to Busan via Korail KTX, with a 1st class option, is detailed.
In Busan, attractions include the Gamcheon Culture Village, Jagalchi Fish Market, and Haedong Yonggung Temple. Reviews for Commodore Hotel Busan are available. The Haedong Blue Line Park, with its Sky Capsules and Beach Train, along with Haeundae Green Railway, offer scenic coastal experiences.
Shinsegae Centum City Department Store, Gwangalli Beach, and Busan Tower are also highlighted for shopping and leisure.
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